DBH3 Hash #790

2004-Sep-22

Hare: Sir Flatulot

Hounds: Bone My Ass, Bung-Holy-O, Burning Bush, Can't Remember Shit, Cockpit, Dick Rejector, Dill Dough, 8's Enough, 5 O'clock Shadow, Gilligan, I Wear Short Shorts, Just Angel, Lollipoop, Momma, Neutered, No Blow, Nunya, Peace Whore, Richard Pierce, Semen Hole, Shit Dickler, Snake My Hole, Sunk'n Shit, Thor, Waaayy Beyond Gay

Visitors: Nookie Knacks (aka Nookie Shorts...I guess she's not a visitor anymore), Purple Pecker Eater, Sauer Crotch (did I spell that right??)

Virgins: Greg and Laurie from Michigan

Latecummers: I'm So Fucked, Popa Tard, Skinamax

Sir Flatulot was our "mystery hare" this week. He was in town with the old ball and chain visiting the old ball and chain-in-law and decided to grace us with his presence. Great turnout with quite a few hounds we hadn't seen in awhile...looks like a lot of people needed to relieve some hurricane stress by going hashing!

Bernkastel's was full of people going to see Cher on her "Farewell...Again...Until Next Year...Maybe...Tour." (Guess that explains all the rainbow flag stickers I saw on the way to the hash.) Trigger, Divide My Pi and Indiana Jerkoff were among the concertgoers who stopped in for a few pre-Cher beers.

Apparently, some stupid birds ate part of the trail on the beach because it took several minutes to finally find it. We took a short jaunt north on the beach before he*ding west to A1A and then down some other street, past the worst smelling store in the world. They must have they closed after Hurricane Frances and just left all the food inside to rot. I'm surprised there weren't vultures circling the place.

Hounds walked down Halifax Avenue where some dudes yelled at the walkers from their balcony, "What charity are you walking for?" "Beer," we replied. "You're all walking for beer? Why weren't we told about this?!" and then a nice 58-pound toothless woman spoke to us and wished us well.

Across the f*cking bridge we went. Bastard! 5 O'clock Shadow wanted to range to the Main Street bridge, but the walkers convinced her that we needed to follow trail because surely there would be a beer check on the other side of the bridge. We should have listened to her...there was no beer check. We crossed the f*cking bridge for no f*cking reason! Went back east across the Main Street bridge...the bridge tender came out of his hole and asked, "Are they giving away $300 bills over there? I'm seeing all these people run by. Are you all going to see Madonna?" (I'm not making this shit up!)

The DFLs (Purple, 8's Enough and I) high-tailed it back to Bernkastel's when we saw that trail was going in the opposite direction, since Waaayy told us it was an A to A trail. The hare made a slight change of plans and decided to hold the circle at tirnanaghahueieniog (the bar FKA Robbie O'Connell's) instead. Luckily, Sauer Crotch missed his wife and sent Waaayy to look for her. If not, 8's Enough and I would have sat at Bernkastel's all night waiting for hashers to show up. (Thanks for the beer 8's, I owe you one!)

Crap that happened in the circle:

• Virgins Greg and Laurie...Dill Dough made them both come. How kinky that must have sounded to bystanders...bet they were wondering if it was the same dildo!
• Skinamax made a false accusation about No Blow wearing a hat in circle, which turned into a "too long between" down-down since we hadn't seen Skinamax in awhile.
• Anyone who just got married or is getting ready to get married: Nookie Knacks/Short Shorts, No Blow/Momma, Popa Tard/Sunk'n Shit (not sure which category they fit into, I think they just wanted to drink).
• 50th hash mug-Shit Dickler
• Anybody who went on a hash cruise in the last 2 weeks...or was supposed to go on a hash cruise before Hurricane Frances f*cked things up.
• Anyone who collected from FEMA in the last 2 weeks.
• Purple made a false accusation so anyone with a color in their name was asked to drink. She was the only one so it turned into anyone whose name starts with the letter "P."
• Sir F solicited for volunteers for Bike Week so you know what that means...the same people will be running it again...plus Dick Rejector (and she volunteered Bung-Holy-O too...he just doesn't know it yet).

We ended circle with a deaf-mute style Swing Low (we're all going to Hell!), then hauled ass back to Bernkastel's before the kitchen closed for a little bit of food and a whole lot of beer.

That's all I got...
-Cockpit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT