 | DBH3 Hash #793
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2004-Oct-13
Goofy's Excellent Adventure
Hare: F*ckin' Goofy
Hare-Aid: Bone My Ass
Hounds: Amelia Airfart, Burning Bush, Cockpit, Crotchduster,
Dill Dough, 8's Enough, 5 o'clock Shadow, Four Quarters for a Tumble,
Gilligan, I Wear Short Shorts, I'm So F*cked, Little Cock, Lollipoop,
Momma, Neutered, No Blow, Nookie Knacks, Nunya F*ckin' Business, Oil
of Old Lay, Peterphile, Richard Pierce, Semen Hole, Shit Dickler,
Skinamax, Sunk'n Shit, Tongue-n-Groove, Waaayy Beyond Gay
Visitors from various Orlando hashes: Buzz Litebeer, Dirve,
Jethro, Just Mary, Lukewarm Piss, Lunar Eclit, Wild Oats
Visitors: not from Orlando Bodsa, Goldilocks
Virgins: Derik (Amelia's current boy toy), Kenny (Oil of Old
Lay's hubby)
Latecummer: A Yellow River Runs Through It
Boney's house was the scene of the crime this week. Waaayy Beyond
Gay wouldn't let anyone park in front of the house. He kept saying,
"this area's reserved." Mmmmkay...We soon found out why when No Blow
and Momma drove up in No Blow's new toy, a shiny red fire truck! So,
of course we all piled on it for a few group gropes before we were
on-out.
Goofy led us into the shiggy right away, via a fence very near
somebody's driveway. After everyone had stumbled across, Crotchduster
discovered an easier way; "hey dumbasses, this gate is open!" Virgin
Derik kept talking about rattlesnakes and spiders the whole time we
were in the shiggy (which was pretty much the entire trail). We came
out of the woods and saw some little pumpkin candles on gravestones
and thought, "how cool, Goofy set up a fake cemetery for us," only to
take a few more steps and realize it was real. It's so sad to see old
neglected cemeteries like that. (That's why my ass is going to be
cremated and Crotch is going to carry me with him everywhere he
goes!)
On and on...and on and on...to a beer stop in a park. There were
chips, cookies, candy...wait, could this be the end?? Nope, not
yet.
Goofy assured us that the second half of trail was much shorter.
Shorter, but much wetter! Deerpaw/Doefoot/Cameltoe/whatever the f*ck
it was called Road was completely underwater. Shin deep...then
knee...thigh...crotch...uh-oh! "My panties are wet," cried Sunk'n
Shit! Somebody said they heard a croaking gator (sounded like a frog
to me, but hey, I'm no wildlife expert).
4.36 miles later (according to Crotchduster's fancy new GPS), we
circled up around a bonfire at Boney's future pad. Here's the actual
track from the GPS:
Circle consisted of the usual crap plus:
- Since we had a bonfire, it was deemed appropriate to have a
dumbass fire jumping down-down for Crotch, and a dumbass who was
wearing massage oil near a fire and burst into flames down-down for
I Wear Short Shorts. I think Nookie Knacks drank too since she was
the one who applied the massage oil.
- October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so we did a down-down
for boobies.
- No Blow drank for being nominated for teacher of the year and
winning! They must not have had many teachers to choose from. Just
kidding...congrats No Blow, that's awesome!
- Several lazy f*cks fell down on trail, including Goldilocks who
crawled into the circle to drink his beer. Goldilocks also snared
the hare. Maybe that's why he fell...Goofy tripped him so he
wouldn't be caught!
- Goofy finally earned his coveted 100-hash bag!
- Crotchduster suggested that we do Superman-style Swing Low in
honor of Christopher Reeve's untimely death. This version was a
little different, though. Crotch fell down on the ground and played
dead. That's just wrong. Funny, but wrong!
- Virgin Derik LOVED the circle, but wasn't too fond of the
running trail part.
When circle closed, we went back to Boney's current house and
traumatized her pets and scared her neighbors. She and Goofy had
prepared TONS of food for the drunks...hamburgers, hotdogs, pasta
salad, beans, chips, cake...good stuff. Awesome trail, thanks Goofy
and Boney!
On-On 'til next time my ass decides to show up,
-Cockpit
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Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT
