DBH3 Hash #799

2004-Nov-17

The "Momma and No Blow Are Dumbasses!" Hash

Hares: No Blow & Rambo

Hare-Aid: Momma

Hounds: Big Gulp, Blow Jack, Bone My Ass, Burning Bush, Can't Remember Shit, Cockpit, Cum Dumpster, Dill Dough, Divide My Pi, 8's Enough, 5 o'clock Shadow, Flash, F*ckin' Goofy, Gilligan, I Wear Short Shorts, I'm So F*cked, Just Elise, Just Marty, Just Meat (aka David), Just PAM, Neutered, Nunya, Peace Whore, Peterphile, Richard Pierce, Shit Dickler, Skinamax, Snake My Hole, Sunk'n Shit, Waaayy Beyond Gay, Wee Wee, A Yellow River Runs Through It

Visitors: Arfa Narh, Buzz Litebeer, Cock Tender, Doris, Just Puke, Lukewarm Piss, Lunar E-clit, Swallow if I Have To, Wet Dream

Okay, okay, so it's been over a month since this hash, but I've been busy! Doing what, you ask. Christmas shopping, of course! Any holiday that encourages shopping is okay in my book! It's better to give than to receive, right? Crotchduster may feel differently, however, when he sees the VISA bill.

A whole bunch of people came to wish the happy couple well at this last hash before their big wedding day...or to try to talk some sense into Momma. Either way, it was a buttload of people! Nunya and friends provided veils for everyone to wear. Momma wore a big one (veil, that is) and a "Bride-To-Be" button. No Blow wore a tuxedo thong (over his shorts, thank G!) and a "Groom-To-Be" button. Awwww... isn't that cute?

Arfa Narh, Doris and Rambo, our friends from across the pond, were here for the wedding so Rambo decided to co-hare with No Blow. Hounds piled into Waaayy's truck for a 37-mile ride to the start. The runners were thinking, "wow, this is cool!" The walkers were thinking, "crap, now we have to walk all the way back!" Awesome shiggy trail... would you expect anything less? I think not.

We had to play Frogger, in the dark, across a busy road, to the beer check on the other side. "Why did the hasher cross the road?" Somebody let Momma out of the kitchen long enough to run trail. We ran (carefully) through a cow pasture on the second half of trail. Didn't see any cows, but we sure did smell them. Goofy tried to tip Nunya when she bent over to tie her shoe. He must have thought she was a very skinny cow.

That's all I remember about the freakin' trail. We took our arses back to No Blow's and drank all of his good beer that was supposed to be for the wedding rehearsal dinner party. Damn hashers!

People drank for lots of reasons...here's the ones I remember...

• Hares: No Blow said, "I laid the good parts," to which 5 O'Clock Shadow replied, "There were good parts?"
• No virgins...the closest we could find was Just Elise who was a two-timer...a two-time hasher that is, not like she cheats on her boyfriend. Well, maybe she does, but that's neither here nor there.
• Boney dropped her veil on trail. Richard Pierce picked it up and made her retrieve it from his cock ring. Several other wankers also drank for lost veils.
• Anyone getting married in November drank, and anyone stupid enough to get married twice drank a down-down.
• Flash earned his 100-hash bag and Wet Dream earned his 25-hash whistle. It only took him 15 years to get it. Okay, not quite that long, but it was a long damn time. Most of the current Daytona hashers had never met him, that should tell you how little he hashes with us. Something about a life outside of hashing...WHAT???
• We observed a moment of silence for Little Miss Suckup (I Wear Short Shorts' dog).
• We did the traditional when we remember to do it shortest/tallest hasher down-down, and combined it with oldest/youngest hasher. Shit Dickler was both oldest and tallest. Just Meat was youngest, 5 O'Clock Shadow the shortest.
• Hasher with the most bruises down-down...No Blow. Apparently, he got his ass beaten to a bloody pulp by strippers at his bachelor party.
• We did a Veteran down-down in honor of Veteran's Day, and an artificial hair color down-down in honor of Peace Whore's newly blonde do. Every female hasher drank for that one!

So there you have it...finally. You'd think it would be a lot more interesting since it took me so long to write it, wouldn't you?! Sorry for your luck.

On-On,
Cock-somebody-else-needs-to-start-writing-these-f*cking-things-pit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT