2003-Jan-07
Hares: Waaayyy Beyond Gay & Paid To Lay
Hounds: No Blow, Amelia Airfart, Papa Tard, Cummy Tummy, Sunk'n Shit, Gilligan, Richard Pierce, Neutered, Shit Dickler, Flash, Rolling Hooters, Yoke Choker, Skinamax, I Wear Short Shorts, Cockpit, Crotchduster, Just Todd, Wee Wee
Virgin: Loretta
Hounds gathered in the parking lot of Goodyear Tire on Bill France on this frigid Wednesday. For some reason, there was a lot of conversation about blumpkins (thanks a lot Amelia & Tongue!). Cummy Tummy generously told Cockpit that she could give a blumpkin to Papa Tard. (Gee thanks, but no!) No Blow wanted to know what it would be called if two dudes were giving each other a blumpkin at the same time. Come on, No Blow. Don't act like you don't know what that's called. It's okay. It was an accident, it could have happened to anybody.
Trail went behind a storage place where there was a band practicing in one of the units (hee hee-I said "unit"). They were singing a tune by the Cranberries-the one that goes "in your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie..." Imagine singing that in a bar full of hashers. Singer: "In your head" Hashers: "Head? Who said head?" Singer: "In your head" Hashers: "Head? Who said head?" How annoying would that be??? We should have stayed there with a cooler of beer and listened to them practice because things went downhill from there.
This particular hasher (and several others including Skinamax, the King of ranging) ranged-a lot. This hasher also got poked in the eye with a sharp stick. It hurt-a lot. The rangers eventually caught up to those who were actually on trail, and I use that term loosely. Those MF-ers were really lost. The rangers gave up after several minutes of searching for trail-okay, several minutes of watching the runners search for trail, and decided just to make a beeline back to the start. When lo and behold, what's that? Crotch found the friggin' beer check-Hooray Crotch! It was in a spot where several hashers had walked/ran right by it without seeing it. Those sneaky hares! Skinamax and several others were already on their way back to Goodyear so they missed it. Sucks to be them. They had to go buy their own beer.
After everybody else finally showed up at the beer check, Paid 2 Lay took off through the shiggy to lay a live trail for the second half. F*ck that-we know where to go from here! Apparently, Paid 2 Lay didn't know where to go. We all got to the end before he did. We waited...and waited...and waited. The hare was going to be the DFL! WTF? Paid 2 Lay got lost in the 1/2 mile from the beer check to the end (Paid 2 Lay, the co-hare, claims Waayyy changed the trail after they had reckied it a few days before ed.). Richard Pierce was FRB & DFL because he was the only one to actually do the second half of the trail.
A cop circled the building several times while we were waiting to start the circle. Where is Bitch Fucker when you need him? The cop finally stopped and talked to Skinamax for a minute then retreated in fear. Not sure what Skinamax said to him, but it worked. It was colder than a penguin's balls. Who turned the heat off?! I was too busy jumping around trying to get warm to really pay attention to what was happening in the circle. I do remember that Amelia drank to retrieve some lost property from the Tampa Nekkid hash. There were several too long-betweeners, but now that the holidays are over there should be no excuse for people to miss hashes. What the hell else are you gonna do on a Wednesday night?
The on-after was at our favorite watering hole, Half Time's. The hares treated us to some Publix subs and a couple pitchers of beer, while Amelia played some crappy music on the jukebox and flirted with all the customers. All 2 of them. Thanks Waaayyy Beyond Gay for another "unique" hash!
My brain hurts-
-Cockpit
Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT
