DBH3 Hash #767, #768, #769

First ... A special thanks goes out to the following workers ...

Sir Flatulot (From a distance, Fatty organized the contract with the Mayan - a hotel we have used for a handful of years without getting tossed out, headed up the beer cooler acquisition, figured out all the information about money in his spreadsheet program, got the keg crew organized, spent time driving to get replacement kegs, ran the haberdashery in Neutered's absence, helped with registration room and haberdashery room set-up and take-down, helped put together bags,

Neutered (Neutered is our haberdasher connection who orders and sells all of our wares. He got the shirts and mugs ordered and also helped with Mayan negotiations

Gilligan (Gilligan accepted the grand responsibility of event monies and registration. He accepted money, kept track of bills and payments, made spreadsheets for monetary transactions and shirt sizes, helped organize the bag-stuffing event, strung frogs, dealt with Dave-the-Button-Man to get name tags,

Thor (Mr. Bike Week Hare got together with bars to make deals and warn them of our arrival and then took us to all the locations while juggling an ever-changing budget.)

Momma (Momma researched potential give-aways, helped with registration - she had to work side-by-side with Gilligan, helped run haberdashery in Neutered's absence, and put up with all the rotten guys in our hash.)

Cockpit (Cockpit was our voice of reason ... "Why the hell would you do that? That is stupid. What the hell were you thinking?" She was also a big help in the registration room.)

Waayyy Beyond Gay (Waayyy took time away from caching and hashing to find menus, get food deals at local establishments, and to get goodies from Budweiser.)

Human Resources (HR donated her time to design the main event shirts).

Uncle Pervy (The little guy helped with haberdashery.)

Shit Happens has a nice beaver that keeps your ears warm.

The high school band at Tornagog had some cute little high school groupies. Other than Blister in the Sun, the band pretty much played crap we could not understand. However, Anal Inspector and Wild Oats both found a way to dance to them (Those two could dance to anything, though - damn high energy people making us slugs look bad - heh).

Divide My Pi brought two virgins. Chris and some lady. Chirs looks strange without his wig.

Momma wears pants that are really loose above her hips.

Some cigars leave a strong ass-like smell after they are extinguished.

The band and bikers at Schooners liked Free Bird way too much - I was unaware that one song could last for three hours without a drum solo!

Those room crawls that Human Resources and IPFreely start are getting bigger each year. Did you know the group only consumed two kegs worth of beer on Saturday at the hotel. Between the room crawl, pub walk, and after-hour partying, the kegs were pretty much left to fend for themselves. Thanks to the BVD group for the awesome tags! Thanks to all the people who offered up their rooms for us.

The young lady serving beer just outside the door at Wiseguys was cute. Do you think her father would like to know that one of her teachers (Semen Hole) put a hasher sticker on her chest?

In all the commotion at Wise Guys, Trigger earned her mug for hashing 50 times with Daytona.

Who looks more alike ... Fire in the Hole and Crack the Ripper or Gilligan, HogBalls, Crambo and the lead singer at Caribbean Jacks?

Semi and RTits are models for parents and spouses that we should all admire.

Lukewarm was really quiet this weekend.

Puta Cockinit sure does catch up fast ... she is never quiet.

The beerwench at Gasoline Alley with the pink fuzzies on her chest and butt was awesome.

Bullriding with Bone is fun. Watching Bullriding with Momma and More Sex is funny.

That helmet thing that Otis did to Rhoids made me feel a bit queasy.

This weekend, two people were to earn their 25th whistle for hashing 25 times with Daytona (At least a handful of the hashes need to occur on Wednesday for us to be organized enough to know if you have that many). However, only one of them stuck around to get hers on Sunday. Red Snapper, the one who is banging Butt Crack, earned her whistle. The other person will have to get his or her whistle at another time.

Face Plant Puke Princess and Handful of Cock are silly drunks. Face Plant loses stuff when he drinks.

Thanks to Dale's Ales, Bernkastles, Merenda Realty and the Mayan Inn for sponsoring us.

-No Blow

The rumble of motorcycle engines and flashes of chrome and steel ushered in Bike Week 2004 and DBH3's 17th Bike Week Hash! Here's the poop...

Friday: A very vivid memory from Friday is Fire In The Hole from Tallahassee asking every female hasher he saw (and probably some non-hashers too) to pose for his tattoo. He wants to have a certain part of the female anatomy tattooed on his arm with his name on it (guess which one-his name is Fire In The Hole!). If I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me to model for their tattoo, I'd have...

a nickel.

The Welcome Pub Crawl took us to the bar formerly known as Robbie's (now some f*cked up Irish name) where a crappy band (whose collective age was younger than most of us hashers) played virtually unrecognizable songs. Second stop was Schooner's where an older, not so crappy band played and we danced and danced and danced. Was there a 3rd bar??? A small group led by Skinamax made an extra credit stop at Froggy's where Amelia Airfart was working (and freezing) her cute little ass off.

Back at the Mayan, it was too f*cking cold to hang out on the pool deck and drink beer and Gilligan's Bar wouldn't let us take our beer in there. So, people partied in their rooms, partied on Main Street or went to bed early. At some point late Friday night/early Saturday morning, some motherf*cking, c*cks*cking , worthless piece of shit stole some of our beer. I hope he/she/they choked on it!

Gonad The Librarian did his usual disappearing act and was never seen again after the Pub Crawl Friday. Come to think of it, so did Pocket Rocket. Hmmm...coincidence?

Saturday: Saturday morning started with the traditional room crawl! It's always fun to see how many people we can cram into a room. Were there 5 or 6 rooms this year? We had a Hawaiian room, a Finding Nemo room (we did not find him), a pajama room...what, no naked room?? We drank bleeding orgasms in one room, which quite frankly don't sound pleasant, but were quite tasty! The BVD hashers got in trouble by one of the maids for bed jumping..."you're gonna break the beds!" Troublemakers.

Saturday afternoon's trail found us running (more like staggering after that room crawl) down Main Street to Wise Guys, then across the big scary bridge to 2nd stop at a new place, Caribbean Jack's. They had a heated pool and jacuzzi, but only a few fools took advantage of it. Obviously, they were not from Florida. Third bar was Alley Cats where we had an impromptu circle to name Salad Shooter's brother, who has hashed with BVD and DBH3 before. Someone suggested "Tastes like Daddy," since he is Salad Shooter's brother.. Well, we changed it to "Tastes Like Fatty," (since he is salad shooter's brother!). For those of you who may not know, "Fatty" is Sir Flatulot's nickname. "When it's incest time in Virginia..."

The South Florida wankers also decided to rename Tuna Helper (Ft. Lauderdale). Apparently, she was really, really thirsty Friday night and was walking around with 3 beers. That's all it took to become "Triple Fisted F*ckHer." There may have been more to the story, but who really cares?!? Fourth and final stop on Saturday's trail was Bernkastle. We love that place!

Back to the Mayan...too f*cking cold to hang out on the pool deck...(see Friday night)...

Sunday: Hangover hash...time to drink more beer! First stop was some bar on Main Street next to the cemetery where they had a mechanical bull and some greasy disgusting food, a potentially dangerous combination. The hashers had a lot of fun riding the bull, and eating the greasy disgusting food, without incident. There was some girl-on-girl action on the bull and some nun-on-girl action with No Blow & Boney. Poor Boney will probably have to wear a cooter sling for awhile after that ride. (See photos that Gilligan will surely post on the website!). The final stop of the day (and the weekend, sadly) was Bernkastle for some good food. We love that place!

No one was hurt or arrested this year, and we didn't get kicked out of the hotel so Bike Week Hash 17 was a success. Can't wait for number 18! Thanks to everyone who worked their asses off to make it happen (you know who you are).

On-On,

Cock-(I love to use parentheses)-pit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT