2004-Feb-11
Hare: Gilligan, Nunya F*ckn' Business
Hounds: Bone My Ass, Sunk'n Shi*t, No Blow, Momma, Foofy, Wee Wee, Sh*t Dickler, I Wear Short Shorts, Cockpit, Richard Pierce, Burning Bush, Semen Hole, Just Brenda, I'm So F*cked, Just Cleo (his first time was the "powder scare" hash and he actually came back!)
Cockpit's Stunt Husband: Just Puke
Latecummer: Divide My Pi
Lost on trail: Waaayyy Beyond Gay
This week's hash was advertised as having a mystery co-hare. We found out when we got there that this was because the co-hare was a mystery to Gilligan. He asked for a volunteer and Nunya stepped up. Brave girl! During chalk talk, Gilligan told us to be on the lookout for some "special" marks. Here we go again...this was the same place he introduced us to his "supermark" a few weeks ago. He said we should try to figure them out when we saw them-they were meant to be humorous and had nothing to do with trail. Okey dokey.
The trail went through Indigo Pines parking lot, through a small patch of trees, then, around a pond and past a power station thingie (what do you call those things?) (power sub-station ed.). Next we went through some wet shiggy, which is where we lost Waaayyy Beyond Gay because he didn't want to get his velcro shoes wet. He tried to range around the water, but didn't find trail again.
We walked along Williamson for a bit then crossed the street where true trail went behind a big ass canal and through some thick shiggy riddled with no trespassing signs that Gilligan said weren't there a few days (months ed.) ago. Cockpit decided to break Cleo in right and showed him the art of ranging. (Note to Just Cleo: Cockpit is very directionally challenged. Don't ever follow her again...you got lucky this time.)
We (Cockpit & Just Cleo that is--I know I'm changing from third person to first person, but I ain't no English teacher!) were almost on trail. We could see toilet paper in trees across the canal and hear whistles so we knew we were going in the right direction. We could also see spiders as big as shetland ponies so we weren't too disappointed about skipping that part of the trail. We (still Cockpit & Just Cleo-don't know where the rest of the pack was) continued on-on Williamson, went right on ... (LPGA ed.) some other road, then right on LPGA (Clyde Morris. She did say she was directionally challanged, ed.). We thought we were way off trail because the whistles sounded really far away now, but we saw hash marks when we turned the corner. And the beer check! Apparently, we missed a lot of crap because everybody else was very wet and dirty. Just Brenda lost a shoe in the muck as she approached the beer check.
The second half of trail was short and sweet...down LPGA to a turkey/eagle split. The turkeys went down a dirt road right to the end, while the eagles went through some more shiggy. We circled up behind the old VA clinic on Mason (?). Momma was complaining about NB eating too much spicy food so we told him to go on the pineapple and Mountain Dew diet. Several guys, being the gentlemen that they are, offered to let Burning Bush blow them and try to guess what they had for lunch. She politely declined.
Let's see...what do I remember from the circle? Not a whole lot. Shit Dickler earned his fancy 25-hash whistle and Gilligan was awarded a spiffy new jacket for hashing more than any other human being on the planet. Wee Wee drank for being foreign. When he finished his down-down he mumbled, "you guys get meaner by the week." Yes we do. We drank a lusty pole and observed a moment silence for Roy Weaver, a friend of Richard Pierce and Pussy Comes Early. He was killed in a tragic accident at the Speedway. And then we asked Gilligan about his "special " marks because nobody knew what the hell they were. They were all related to the hospital that owns some of the land we were hashing on... "ER," DP = "Dr. Parking," (help me out here, Gilligan)... (HMC = "Halifax Medical Center" Ed)
We on-aftered at Wing House, where you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a redneck. I don't know why you would want to do that, but I'm just saying...
On-I-hate-writing-these-things-On,
-Cockpit
Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT
