2003-Sep-17
Hares: Gilligan & Paid To Lay
Hounds: No Blow, Richard Pierce, Thor, Yoke Choker, Rolling Hooters, Cockpit, Crotchduster, Amelia Airfart, Wee Wee, Shit Dickler, Just PAM, Neutered, Flash, Likes to Bang Poles & Icebox, Teddy Foreskin, Tongue-n-Groove, Just Jim, I Wear Short Shorts & dogs, Waaayyy Beyond Gay, Just Kevin, Just Jolana
Visitors: Cock Tender
This hash started out looking like a real sausagefest with 16 dudes and only 3 chicks. Melikes those odds! Can you say, "circle jerk?" Three more chicks showed up right before we left, reducing the odds a bit, but they still weren't bad. No virgins today so Neutered told us to try to pick some up on trail.
Trail started out with a check on the corner of Nova and Reed Canal. We proceeded north on Nova (east on Reed Canal ed.) for a short distance, then into Reed Canal Park. Nice night for a walk in the park. The next part of the trail was pretty shitty-literally. Seriously, it smelled like ass. Or maybe a rotting corpse. Oh wait, Crotchduster was in front of us, that explains it. Never mind. People in this part of Volusia County really like tacky lawn ornaments in large quantities. One house had what looked like a gravestone in the back yard right along the fence line. Hope it was a pet and not a family member. The only good thing about this part of the trail was that it led to the beer check.
As usual, I don't remember much about the rest of the trail. You all should take up a collection to buy me a little voice recorder for Christmas so I can write more accurate hash trashes. (you could try No Blow's trick, just make up a few bits ed.) Either that, or get someone else to write them! Yeah, that's it.
I do remember that we went through the parking lot of the apartment complex where Amelia Airfart lives. Why didn't we do another beer check or an extra credit stop there? We ended up at the new and improved Porthole. Funny thing-Crotch, being familiar with the neighborhood, asked Gilligan at the start-"When are you going to end a hash at the Porthole again?" Gilligan replied, "Porthole?? We haven't been there in about 2 years!"
Circled up out back. A few highlights:
Amelia, at the ripe old age of 30, just "learned" to swallow. And she was dumb enough to admit this to hashers so of course we made her drink. And then she admitted that the young virgin she brought the previous week was the one who taught her, so we made her drink again. Our little girl is growing up so fast.
Amelia also did an exhibitionism down-down for having her picture in Easy Rider magazine. Slut! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Waaayyy Beyond Gay also did one for being in the newspaper or on the news or some-f*cking-place in a story about Burning Man. Thor celebrated his 250th hash with a down-down. He made 100 hashes at hash #108, but it took him to #730 to earn 250! For those of you who don't know him very well, this is not for lack of hashing, just lack of hashing in Daytona. We tossed around the idea of naming Just Jim, but he didn't want to get named because his friend Sunk'n Shit wasn't there. Thor suggested we name him "Table It `Til Shit's Here." Good idea, but we decided to actually table it instead. And then we ate large quantities of fried food.
Since the hash finished pretty early, some of us decided to go to Half Times. Yes, we're gluttons for punishment. Our friend Karen the bartender hooked us up with some good strong drinks. She swears she is going to hash with us again someday. Cock Tender had his very first Flaming Dr. Pepper shot. It may have also been his last since he threw up said shot later. Took lots of incriminating photos of Tongue, Amelia & Cockpit to send to Wish U Were Queer (or Wish 2B Queer as they call him in Macedonia. I like that better, don't you?!). He's stuck overseas for another month or so. He's making so much money over there he should treat us all to a free hash when he comes home!
I'm done now. See you freaks next time.
-Cockpit
Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST
