DBH3 Hash #737
2003-Oct-22
Hares Bone My Ass, I Wear Short Shorts, Shit Dickler:
Local Hounds (Daytona Hashers and hashers who hashed at least
50 times with Daytona): Bitch Fucker, Black Vulva, Blow Jack, Flash,
Gilligan, Gucking Foofy, I'm So Fucked, Momma, No Blow, Peace Whore,
Peterphile, Richard Pierce, Skinamax, Sperm Burp, Sunk'n Shit, Teddy
Foreskin, Toys in the Drawer, Waayyy Beyond Gaayyy, and Wee Wee (Doo
Doo)
In-State Hounds: A Pussy Shaved Is a Pussy Earned
(Gainesville), Chippendale (Orlando), Cooter Pie (Orlando), and Spoke
Her (Orlando)
Japanese Hounds: Adonis (Bloody England), Chippendale (Bloody
Orlando and Scotland), Coach Bob (Bloody England), Emu (Crappy
Australia), Hoggy (Bloody Scotland), and Stretch (Bloody England)
We all met over in DeLand for this wonderful occasion. At the start,
we were greeted with a large variety of beers (There were something like
ten coolers, each of which had only one kind of beer. There was a
cooler with Bud, one with Coors, one with Miller Lite, one with
Amberbach, one with Michelob Lite, and a few more). We were also
greeted by a handful of very odd men who wore bright orange shorts,
striped button-up shirts, and goofy (not Foofy) ties. They didn't speak
English very well, but as long as you nodded your head and smiled or
laughed, they seemed to be amused.
All of us were very scared about the eminent trail ... You see,
trail was being laid by three virgin hares.
Three Virgin Hares, Three Virgin Hares, see how they run, see how
they run, ... Actually, trail ended up being much better than the
average trail. It was run through virgin territory, had its share of
exotic areas, and was marked well enough, with right amount of
confusion, to keep everyone from getting too lost or too far apart.
Trail started right back down Taylor Road, the road we drove in on,
but people had a difficult time following the well-placed marks of flour
because they were looking on the wrong side of the median. Once they
found the marks, they had an easy time, until we found the first check.
These wily hares just loved taking us into the woods. They must have
did it five different times. The problem, not many of us had torches
(Oh, for you Americans - that means 'flashlights' in Japanese), and the
trail was densely covered with a thick canopy. It is hard to believe
that the trail will soon be much darker (Set your clocks back one hour
this weekend!)
The trail went back-and-forth from well-groomed paths and dense woods
to road. After a few times going in and out of the woods, no one knew
which way was north. Heck, at some places in the woods, you could
literally hear whistles on all sides of you. After trail took us through
some yards, down a road, and through some more woods, we ended up at the
beer truck. Most of us estimated we had gone about 4 miles by that
point. However, we were told it was only the half way (Teddy crapped
himself right there).
Following the beer check, we traveled up and down through some
amazing woods, forever wondering if we'd lose an eye at the next turn.
The temperature dropped and rose by well over 10 degrees at points. It
was like being in a silly UCF horror flick at times. After the
temperature leveled out, we hit a long stretch (Hey, isn't that
someone's name?) of power-lines. The damn sugar sand was a bitch to get
through. However, at the end of the sugar sand was a cool trellis to
run under. In the dark, a few of us (Peterphile and Momma) had a
difficult time staying on our feet as we went under the trellis through
the dark tunnel. Following the trellis was some more woods on to the
end.
At the end, there was an old cistern (It was estimated it was circa
1870) next to a small spring, a fire-ball lantern (smudge pot), a
potential burial mound, and, more importantly, all those coolers of
beer. Shit Dickler informed us that he and his buddies used to hang out
at the spot when he was in college. He had not been back in over 50
years or something like that. According to him, we all need to come
back and sit under the trellis when a train goes over ...
overwhelming.
We learned a great deal in circle ...
- Japs tend to take a long period of time to tell a story. They have
a difficult time getting to the point (No, I am not Japanese).
- Emu can clog a crapper so bad that it will literally shoot shit up
to the ceiling if a flush is attempted (I didn't actually see this, I
was told it happened in Sperm and Chip's house - yummy).
- P Rick is not circumcised, and he looks real funny when he runs from
circle after sticking one end of toilet paper in his ass and lighting
the other end of the toilet paper with a fire ball.
- Stretch is not real mad that he came to Daytona Beach and ended up
not finding anything that looked like a beach. He is simply
confused.
- Cooter Pie is now engaged. The wedding is in October of 2004
... This gives him a great deal of time to back out. Dummy was married
once before. Peterphile, one of the co-FRBs, promises that he will
straighten the little fella out.
- Japs like to waste beer. If you give them too many down-downs, they
are sure to douse you. No, officer, I haven't been drinking. Boy, you
sure the hell smell like you have!
- lack Vulva really likes putting small, tubular objects in his mouth
and blowing and sucking on them. Same goes for Sperm, Chip, Spoke Her,
and Skinamax.
- Hoggy is real good an interpreting for P Rick. Adonis is real good
at interpreting for Hoggy. No one needs to interpret for Coach Bob
because he doesn't talk much.
- Botox is Blow Jack's best friend. He wants some more for his
birthday (this month). Stretch also has an October birthday. So do
other people, but I do not remember who.
- If you are bald, have long hair, wear matching shirts, or live to be
a certain age, you could be called into circle a good 15 times in one
night for simply being bald, having long hair, wearing matching shirts,
or living to be a certain age.
- Flash and Gilligan miss the pint-sized Danielle.
- Teddy Foreskin, like many of us, has no life. He earned his bag for
hashing 100 times in Daytona. Time flies! The man ripped a beer can
open with his mouth, just like he did the first night he ran with us.
Yes, his dentures are as strong as his old teeth!
- Toys in the Drawer, Teddy's wife, was very upset that Teddy has came
100 times, and she has yet to earn something to blow. Soon, Toys
... soon.
- Flash was the only unemployed person at the hash. Independently
wealthy people do not need jobs. What about Gilligan you ask? Our
full-time jobless wonder got a one-week job or something. Also, Crotch
doesn't drive all the way over to DeLand very often.
- Japs make up some really strange songs. The one I remember had
something to do with liking street lights ... especially green
ones.
- Waayyy Beyond Gay has very soft lips ... Bitch Fucker, the other of
the two co-FRBs, told me to say that.
- Bone My Ass is very forgiving if you pick her up and down by her
shorts, give her a wedgy so bad that she chafes, and make her feel
dirty, as long as you give her $50 and hug ... I mean ... as long as you
give her $10 and a kiss ... I mean ... as long as you do it when she is
too drunk to remember ... I mean ... as long as you are too drunk to
remember doing it. Sorry, Bone.
- A Pussy Shaved Is A Pussy Earned has a very soft buttocks (It is
really a very nice squishy feeling), she has very strong nipples, and
she doesn't mind being gang-banged by six foreign guys, as long as they
all wear orange shorts down around their ankles ... strange.
- Pierce is up to 53 runs.
- Wee Wee hates the name Doo Doo ... Here's to Doo Doo, He's true blue
...
After circle, we bottomed out three vehicles and drove back to Bone
My Ass's pad. We had tons of beer, chicken, noodles, salad, cookies,
and more.
The Japs were very impressed with the trail, the circle, the food,
and the people. Many of us look forward to seeing them in 9 months in
the UK. Take care!
-No Blow
PS See you at the DeLand Halloween Pub Crawl next week. I wonder if
Peace Whore and Jethro will reprise their Grim Reaper costumes?
PPS If you do not make it out on Wednesday, we hope to see you at Pi
and Laid's Halloween bash. They throw an awesome party.
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Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST
