DBH3 Hash #709

2003-May-21

(The names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Hares: No Blow, Just P.A.M

Since Skinamaxipad and a load of other hashers including Blow Apple Jacks, Sir Fat, Shooter of Salads, Cocky and Crotchless, Snake Charmer, and Way Gay Dude were going on an adventure to Costa Rica, the rest of us poor people or working people or both (you know -- the teachers) decided to crash Skinny's working establishment with a hash. We figured it would be the best time to visit -- when he wasn't there. We thought we could get Missing Link to stand in for him, but Link wanted to hit on women closer to his home. He should have driven his Bike up to Orange City. The pack was predominantly women, and the end and on-after were at a biker bar.

Anyway, Just PlushAwkwardMonkeys and Know Blow made the choice to hare and start at the office in Orange City on May 14th. It sounded like a great idea, especially since Just PornographicAssMuncher also works at the location -- Heck, I think Skinny and Just PuntedAMoose actually co-own it or something. Anyway, the idea sounded splendid for about a minute. You see, Just PussyAtMidnight informed BlewInPukesTruck that he'd be out of town for a week and getting back on that Wednesday. BlewInBitchsYardToo then informed Just PenisesAreMinty that he was busy as hell and wouldn't be able to rekky trail until the day of the hash. That was scary, but Just PrefersAmeliasMelons and BlewManyOtherPlacesOnStPatricksDayAtBVD, being the troopers they are, agreed they could handle it. They met at 4:30, decided on trail (maybe even pre-laid a bit), got various alcohol and a bit of extra flour and tp, laid trail, and later feigned a live trail.

At 6:30, people started showing up. They came by plane, train, moped, and car -- 15 anxious hounds that included Amelia Beer Fart, Tongue My Lonely Groove, Flash (He'll Save Everyone of Us), Utterly Udderly Delicious, Big Gulper, Richard Pierced His What?, Likes to Bang Little Dog Poles and her dog, Fucker of Bitches (Watch out Ice Box!), Piece of a Whore, Theodore Foreskin, Theodore's Little Fuck Toy, Black Vulva -- Who Makes Little Boys Cry, the Hash Crashers (Lori and Traci), and Virgin Camille. The hounds, who were mostly female and single and lonely and looking for a big man with a big bike and a fondness for photography and a desire to have sex and who likes to send out his share of e-mail responses that readers have no idea what they are replying to, took off in a mad rush by foot and automobile. I really think they were looking for Link. He should have stepped in for Skin -- funny stuff -- ask him to show you his comedy act ... Do I ramble?

The hashers who actually did trail got to go through dense woods, over paved roads, across boardwalks, through fields, through more woods, down another road, and to SkeweredAnOx's house where they were met with a "BC and JSC" sign. The hounds were greeted with beer and Jello shots. Fart and Tongue had about 50 of these potent potables left over from the hash on the 14th. Man, were they strong! From Skinflutes's, the hashers ran down some paved and dirt roads, through some private property which was covered with nice woods and paths, and to Dale's Ales.

War Whore was the FRB along with 7-11 Tramp. The two were quite pleased that they had managed to get to the end before Ding-a-Ling Jewelry Boy could. They knew he was about as competitive as Jeff Gordon. In the end, Ding-a-Ling and Grand Master Flash were the DFLs. Everyone else ranged from Skin's. Many, drove by car. Mother, Cum Dumped Her, Dances During Elections, and about 10 locals showed up for circle. Most of the locals just wanted names. Dale, who was obviously practicing down-downs for many hours before we arrived, brought a few of his employees over to get them on our work-out program -- silly silly man.

In circle, Dirty Little Whore received her whistle for her 25th run, Amelia Gas Girl and Groovy Tongue showed their chests -- again, Udder Woman and Lori (or Tracy) drank for wearing stripes in circle -- because we were drunk from those damn Jello things, and some other down-downs happened. Ask the deaf man what he heard. I don't remember it all. After circle, Cop Guy fell off Dumpster's ATV. He deftly jumped back on with an "I meant to do that attitude". The blind man can verify this even. He saw it, too.

If you did not show up, you missed a great deal of nudity, strong alcohol, good people, and a fun trail.

Ciao!

-Not Gonna Blow Again?

PS Have you ever seen Link do Skin?

P.P.S. That last line just sounded all wrong, didn?t it?

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST