DBH3 Hash #727

2003-Aug-27

Hares: Richard Pierce and Sunk'n Shit

Hare Aid/Beer Truck Driver: Pussy Comes Early

Hounds: Amelia Airfart, Bitch F*cker, Black Vulva (if you please), Bone My Ass, Cockpit, Divide My Pi, Gilligan, Gucking Foofy, I Wear Short Shorts, Just Bryan, Just Jim, Just Mike, Kareem I Drool My Pie (aka That Tall F*cker), Neutered, No Blow, Old Ironside, Paid to Lay, Rolling Hooters, Sandy Crack, Skinamax, Teddy Foreskin, Trigger, Wee Wee, Yoke Choker

Virgin: Mark (Old Ironside made him come)

Visiters (from Gainesville): A Pussy Shaved is a Pussy Earned, Cock And Mouth Disease, Doofus White Boy (aka That Annoying F*cker)

Latecummers: Muddy (aka Shamu), Tongue-n-Groove

We had a slightly smaller crowd than the past few weeks; some of the Deland crew didn't venture over since the hash was actually in Daytona Beach this week. We met in the parking lot at the closed Builder's Square on ISB. No Blow taught Wee Wee the Little Piggy song-"this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, wee all the way home." He was not amused. The hares warned us that we would get our feet wet so we tossed shoes in the beer/bag truck and took off in search of trail. As you can imagine, the first part of trail did not involve much shiggy, it mostly consisted of road and parking lots. Walked behind Hooter's, where there was supposedly a boob check (the DFLs never saw it), but Rolling Hooters wouldn't do it because she works there. What kind of lame excuse is that?!? Went behind Barnes & Noble, where there was supposedly a which-way (the DFLs never saw it) and then turned left through some parking lot to a small canal. Most of the pack went left around the canal, a few brave souls actually crossed it, a few more (namely the DFLs-Cockpit, Skinamax, Amelia, Yoke Choker, Sandy Crack & Ironside) went right to a road with a gate that led to a lot owned by the Speedway or something. Yoke Choker turned around, saw headlights and said, "Hey, that's the beer truck! This must be the end." Pussy Comes Early looked a little surprised to see us. We caught the hares, without actually catching the hares-cool! It turns out that Yoke Choker used to work at this place and knew the code to open the gate to let the beer truck through. Ain't that some shit?!? So PCE pulled into the lot and tried to hide the truck behind a clump of trees so Security wouldn't see us and ask us how the f*ck we got through the gate. Apparently, we did part of the trail backwards or went the wrong way at the which-way or something because we found out later that we had skipped about 3/4 of it, and thankfully the wet part. So we sat our happy asses in the truck and waited for the hares, or Security, whichever came first. Muddy joined us after calling Richard P's cellphone for our 20 (that means location in trucker speak). We waited, and waited, and waited-so this is what it feels like to be FRB! Pussy Comes Early was worried that we were drinking too much beer so she sent Muddy on a beer run. Eventually, tired wet hashers starting appearing out of the darkness, and right away accused us of auto-hashing. How rude! "We did NOT auto-hash with that woman, Pussy Comes Early."

Tongue-n-Groove had joined us by this time, after getting off. Work, that is.

(Okay, this thing's getting too long.)

So we circled up and No Blow attempted to take control, but Doofus White Boy would have none of that. He did everything humanly possible to make No Blow's job impossible. (His wife just had a baby so maybe she won't let him hash for awhile!)

Just Mike was due for a name this week. Can you guess what happened? Doofus commandeered the circle and we had the longest naming in recent DBH3 history. Blah, blah, blah- answer this question, tell us a story, answer another question, tell us another story-you get the picture. Doofus has been hashing long enough to know that we HAVE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN! He lost us after the 2nd or 3rd question. What the f*ck did we name him? Oh, right- he told us that the most disgusting that has ever happened to him during sex was when he had to wipe shit off his dick. Eewwww!!!! That gave us enough fuel to name him and get him the hell out of the circle. No Blow suggested "Corn on the Log," but was beat out by a very narrow margin by "Shit Dickler." No Blow is still bitter.

Blah, blah, blah, swing low. may the hash go in peace.

Stopped at Subway for some grub, then went to Half Time for the on-after. They have a kick-ass jukebox there, except for the country songs. Some of the harriettes invented and perfected the "boob wave." Ask for a demonstration at the next hash! We also learned that Rolling Hooters and No Blow are ass twins (except one is a little hairier-I'll let you guess which one). Is anyone else frightened by that? Don't ask for a demonstration at the next hash.

Me go sleep now.

See you next week-

-Cockpit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST