DBH3 Hash #679

It was colder than a penguin's balls. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that cold, but it was quite nipply (and not just because I was fondling myself-it really was cold). This reporter was a tad worried about the trail turning out to be a freakin' death march with these two fast-as-shit r*nners haring. No virgins equals no chalk talk so off we go. Trail wound through a neighborhood and ended up on John Anderson Road, which happens to be VERY straight and long. We went straight, straight, straight some more, for f*ck's sake-will it ever end??? The hares placed a couple of decoy checks along the way, but trail just went straight for a couple of miles. Can you say "BORING?" Went past a "Nature Trail-No Trespassing" sign and thought, "Why didn't they go through there?" Kept going and came to a CB15 which took us back to, you guessed it, the Nature Trail. So, we found some toilet paper and followed it for a couple hundred yards and saw a flashlight up ahead shining in our general direction. "How nice, someone has come back to look for us slow bastards."

WRONG!! It was the Evil Park Ranger Nazi who didn't waste any time telling us we were trespassing and had to leave immediately. "Please Sir, we are only looking for our friends so we can read scripture and sing hymns," we told him (well, maybe not those exact words). "Too late" he replied, "I have already raped and killed them and dismembered their bodies. Now, leave before I kill you too!"

Crotch was not buying this dude's story and wanted to continue on, but the harriettes convinced him to leave before Evil Park Ranger Nazi beat us to a bloody pulp with his flashlight.

Now what??? Since there was no trail to follow, we just decided to walk in the direction of A1A and see what we could find. We actually found trail (and Neutered, who had gone back to check on us and remove the toilet paper) leading down the beach, then back up to A1A where it ended at a cozy little joint called The Wrack. This place was definitely hasher friendly and worthy of a repeat visit. Where else can you take your own beer, your own food, and circle up on the dance floor (after the owner turned the juke- box off so we could sing)?!?

After last week's failed attempt at naming Just Mandy, we decided to try again. It didn't take long as soon as Crotch found out that she loves cows, and the fact that she has huge breasteses. Just Mandy will now and forever more be known as Udderly Delicious. Sweet! Here's to Udderly Delicious, she's true blue. She's a hasher through and through...

We sang, we danced, we drank the 647 beers Richard Pierce bought, we embarrassed ourselves. After some coaxing by the owner and Mr. Pierce & his lovely bride, Pussy Comes Early, a few harriettes danced on the bar and made a little lunch money. The local yokels seemed quite bored with us. They obviously don't know talent when they see it! Losers.

May the hash go in peace, may Gilligan get a piece.

Love ya-mean it!

-Cockpit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT