Wednesday, March 28, 2001
Hare: Gilligan
A small group of hashers gathered at Sugar Mill Gardens for the start of the 575th running of the Daytona Beach Hash House Harriers, which happened to be CROTCHDUSTER's last hash with DBH3 for awhile since he's moving L. It also happened to be CROTCH's 46th hash. So close to 50, but still so far away!!
No chalk talk was necessary as we were all seasoned hashers (seasoned with beer?), and the hare was off. We were all prepared for a shiggy trail as is usually the case when GILLIGAN is the hare. However, this one was different and we would soon find out why!
After a short time on trail, the pack came upon a canal. Trail actually went around it, but a few of us shortcutting bastards and bitches decided we would try to cross it by way of a pipe that went from one side of the canal to the other. CROTCH went first and if you weren't there to actually see it, well...
He did this crawl/shimmy/scoot move across the pipe that was quite entertaining! Hopefully, photos will be posted on the website soon! He looked like a tree frog hanging onto a branch for dear life! COCKPIT was laughing so hard that there was no way she could cross without falling in so around the canal she went. By the way, she WALKED all the way around to the other side before CROTCH got across! That left NO BLOW and HERECTORPAD to attempt the crossing. NO BLOW wimped out and ran around, but HERECTORPAD made it across beautifully. She must have a lot of experience with pipes J NO BLOW claimed that his mug was too heavy to make it across. Whatever!
On-On again for a block or two, when CROTCH spotted something lying in the street. It was...no, it couldn't be...was it? Yes, it was...our illustrious hare had DROPPED HIS TOILET PAPER!!! Soooo... that explains the non-shiggy trail. We hoped GILLIGAN was thirsty because he would be drinking many down-downs for this one.
At some point, CROTCH, COCKPIT & HERECTORPAD ended up in a campground after a failed attempt at shortcutting. It worked out quite nicely, however, because they ran into the rest of the pack as they made their way out. They had come across a check back 69 or something.
We eventually made our way to the end and were all quite surprised at how short GILLIGAN's trail was. Hmmmmm...lack of toilet paper, perhaps? We circled up in the usual fashion and got started by calling the hare into the circle for the hare down-down, plus a dumb-ass down-down for DROPPING THE TOILET PAPER! FRB, DFL, too long between, whistle check...all the usuals; then accusations...blood on trail, matching shirts, pussy down-down for NO BLOW, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. We closed the circle with a story from PUSSY GOURMET about SIR FLATULOT getting yelled at by the big, mean GM in Las Vegas because he suggested doing Swing Low Polish-style. Apparently, the big, mean GM didn't like that idea and made him do it by himself in the circle. Poor FLATCH! So, in honor of SIR F, we did the Polish version of Swing Low. CROTCH, who is Polish by the way, fell on his ass while jumping on one leg. "Shit!" he cried helplessly as he fell. We all quickly corrected him...that's "Shitski!" Too bad this was his last hash because that deserves the hashit for sure! We also did the "Scooby Doo" version of Swing Low in remembrance of Whats-his-name Hanna, the creator of Scooby Doo, who died this week. Then CROTCH & COCKPIT brought out jello shots and a bottle of champagne for a toast to CROTCH's new job. They announced that the on-after was on them as a going away present, so all of you WANKERS who weren't there missed out! Since trail was short and it was still early, we went to Outback Steakhouse for massive quantities of FREE FOOD and BEER!
Next week's hares: Pappa Tard and No Blow
Get your asses to Run-A-Muck!!!! (That means you, Gilligan!)
On-Out
As reported by: Cockpit
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Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT
