DBH3 Hash #1075

2009-Jul-29

The Meatless Birthday Hash!!

Hare: Meatless Taco

Hounds: Backdoor Baculum, Bar Fly, Bloody Horse Cock, Bony, Cums on Time, Dirty Crack Whore, Fecal F*cker, Gilligan, I Wanna Be a Cock Star, Just Amanda, KY for the Brown Eye, Must Turd, NASA, Nickel, No BLow, Nookie, Peterless Porceline Pussy, Push it Tin my Bottom, Sh*t Dickler, Shorty, Skid Row, Tits are for the Boys, Wee Wee,

Virgins: Guy 2 (left of Redrun),

Visitors:

Threatening skies did not sway the many hashers who came out to honor Ms.Taco's birthday. Upon arrival, were advised to park before Lake Okeechobee now covering the dirt road between us and the trail head. (head)? Poor Crack Whore never got that far because he had flat tire right on Turnbull Bay Rd. (NASA went and picked him up) Seems he was driving around without a spare .... I guess he's never heard the Jimmy Buffet song.

We were surprised and delighted to see the tooo long in betweener, Oui-oui. For some reason, she and Dickler had matching facial battle wounds ... something about scrapping with each other or perhaps the same pit bull?

After piling into the larger trucks we were ferried across the lake to the start where we drank and socialized till 7:30ish ... and here comes Semen Hole crashing down the road. His hunky Denali was not afraid of a little puddle.

It was about 7:45 when we hit the trail and soon came up to a swift moving creek. That's when Bloody Horse Cock uttered those famous last words ... "it can't be that deep" he took a giant step followed by a loud swoosplash and was in it like a migrating wildebeest!!

Now, the hasher extraordinaire, Cockpit taught me that if the water is up to your woo-woo, it is time to find another way, so several of us found a large fallen tree bridge that worked very well.

However, after watching some people jump the creek, Miss PPP made a very noble attempt to leap across and came up short and fell in up to her ta-ta's ... not sure what happened to her doggie at that point? Nickel wisely turned back with Mustard in tow to give him back to his daddy who wisely stayed on the bike trail which we ran back into eventually.

So, I get a phone call (ya,ya I always have techno on trail) from Just Mark who was watching a ugly big red blob on the radar heading straight for us .... sure enough after about 20 minutes the slight pitter patter of rain soon became a monsoon similar to the Vietnam scenes in Forrest Gump ... it rained up, it rained down and it rained sideways turning the bike trails into rivers with rapids flowing over exposed roots ... soon after which, the toilet paper began to disintegrate causing and a few to lose trail.

Fortunately, the lightening did not sit right on top of us, but did stay close enough to light up trail quite nicely.

We find the BC, where many frantically scrambled to secure their cell phones from the pouring rain. Skid had kept hers between her legs protected like a baby penquin ... ingenious! At this point the hash doggies were drowned rats and it did not make a rats butt if you stayed dry at the creek cause we were all getting drenched. We drank, waited and whistle but no Dickler, Oui-oui, Nickle, Bar-Fly, NASA, Cums O.T., and I think a couple others. So in the driving rain, we decide to slosh back the quickest way to the start. Bloody HC was a kind gentleman and offered to haul the beer back for Skid and Taco.

Last modified: Monday, 2009-Aug-03 10:00:14 AM EDT