DBH3 Hash #1036

2008-Nov-26

Pre-Thanksgiving Bash

Hare: No Blow

Dutiful Wife: Momma

DBH3 Regular Wednesday Hounds: 5 O'Clock Shadow, Bloody Horse Cock, Bone My Ass, Bow-Cocky, Dirty Crack Whore, Fecal Fucker, For Five Cents You Can See The Show, Gilligan, Got Crabs, Grizzly Anus, I Wear Short Shorts, Nookie Knacks, Nunya Fuckin' Business, Peterless Porceline Pussy, Richard Pierce, Rolling Hooters, Shit Dickler, Skinamax, Sunk'n Shit, Tard Tackler, Wanna Be A Cock Star, Wanna Be Gaayyy

DBH3 Regular Event Hounds: Dill Dough, La La Licks Dill Dough

DBH3 Turkey-Day-Only Hashers: Blow Junior, Bobblehead, Must Turd, Strawberry Dickery, Up Her Crusty

DBH3 Hounds Who Pay and Rarely Stay for Circle and Trail Unless He Is Haring and It Is St. Patrick's Day: Jacuzzi Whore

DBH3 Invisible Hounds: F Droop

OH3 Hounds: Can U Not Talk?, Pussy 4 Less

O2H3 Hounds: Iva, MILF and Cookies

BVD Hounds: Dick Sniffah

NZ, Albany or Scottish Hounds: Bodsa and the Dentist

Mosquito County Hounds: Gucking Foofy, Lunar E Clit, Peterphile

DBH3 Just Family Members: No Blow's Father and Wicked Step-Mother (Jim, Denise), Semper's Husband (David) Skinny's Son (Ben James), Strawberry Dickery's Husband and Daughters (Bryan, Brianna, Bailey), Tard Tackler's Daughter (Malika),

DBH3 Friends: Just Isaac, Just MacKenzie, Just Mark, Just Pamela, Just Sue, Just Wayne, Just YMCA Girl

Other Virgins: Jess (Horse Cock and Cock Star's Pal) Jessica (No Blow's Neighbor),

Late Cummers A Yellow River Runs Through It, Barfly, Semper Fuck My Pie, That Girl Skinny Brought

The 7th Thanksgiving Feast at Momma and No Blow's Pad.

Trail was a jog through the woods that utilized a bunch of new paths carved through with motorcycles. A few complained about the sugar sand, but those short hairy AARP people from Mosquito County just want everything perfect. Trail was an A to A, but it wasn't too long. People came for the food, music and friendship. The trail was an added bonus this night.

After the hare got back to the house, he noticed that many of the people didn't even do trail, and a ton of food had disappeared. However, one of seventeen tons would not be missed. The FRB was Strawberry Dickery and her daughter. Brianna, who is seven, made it through quicker than most of the pack. She had a blast.

During circle, Peterphile was serenaded by his future ex-wife, Lunar E-Clit, after he was brought into circle for earning his 100th DBH3 run hash bag. I am sure the Orlando people know the song, but it is not one that is in the regular Daytona rotation. It sounded like the Oscar-Meyer Weiner song and ended with, "For Pe-ter-phi-le, has a way, with my V - A - G - I - N - A." By the way, Lunar ran the No Blow trail and did not get forgotten or lost. This probably doesn't sound too special to most of the readers, but to anyone who has faced Lunar's wrath on the last few No Blow trails, it is quite amazing. Here in Daytona, nobody wants to be near her wine.

After circle, everyone was treated to food and music. As far as the vittles, the food and beverages included kegs of some Lite Crap and a keg of Killian's, rum-drenched cider, two deep-fried turkeys (Thanks Momma and Crabs fro preparing the birds and making them perfect!), cooked ham (Thanks Crabs!), fried alligator (Thanks Grizzly!), chili (Thanks Gilligan!), clam dip (Thanks Bow-Cock-Y), chowder (Thanks Sniffah - I had three bowls!), taters (Thanks Fecal), cornbread dressing (Thanks Lunar!), vegetables (Thanks Skid!), salad (Thanks PPP!), green beans (Thanks PFL!), sweet potatoes (Thanks Shorty and Nookie!), rolls and gravy (Thanks CUNT!), rolls and butter (Thanks Mark!), relish tray (Thanks Boney!), dip and chips (Thanks Hooters), cranberry sauce (Thanks PPP!), deviled eggs (Thanks Nunya!), Cactus Casserole (Thanks Wayne!), muffins (Thanks Blow Family!), brownies (Thanks Fecal!), pumpkin bread (Thanks Nickel), pies (Thanks Nickel!), a watermelon (We ate this a week later - Thanks, Dickler!) and a ton of other food by people who I cannot connect to their platters. Nobody was complaining about not getting enough food. There was enough food to feed each of us twice. Way to go!

As far as the music, Bow-Cocky set up his full sound system and treated us with a set of violin music. La La Licks Dill Doughs brought his harmonica out and shared the stage for a while. Late, Yellow played his guitar and La La jammed with him, too. The food, drinks, music and company were top notch.

During or just after the music, Iva starts up a conversation, "You know I just judged a science fair ... " No Blow rudely interrupted him and went around recruiting people for his own middle school science fair on the following Wednesday. Iva, Gilligan, Grizzly, Shorty, Dickler, Peterphile, and Boney all judged the middle-schoolers efforts. Thank you for your good attitudes, generosity with your time, and your general support. I hope you enjoyed yourselves. The students and I are greatly appreciative.

Around one or two AM, Momma decided to provide an opportunity for her remaining guests to redecorate the back yard and appropriate more fire wood. "With what tool shall we use?" the bleary-eyed remnants of the large party asked? "Ummm ... How about an axe?" replied the innocently misguided Momma. She ran in the garage and brought the implement of destruction out to be wielded by the remaining delinquents.

The bear of the group (This bear was not Grizzly, though Mr. Anus was one of the few left after midnight) took aim at a branch-less dead tree to the south of the bonfire. After four swings, the 20 foot tall piece of lumber came crashing down. One would have thought it was knocked down by a sledge hammer, rather than an axe. The tree came down from below the surface of the ground. "What the Hell?" we thought. "Is he that strong?" we asked ourselves? He is and was one bloody huge Horse Cock.

Cock Star, not wanting to be outdone by her larger-than-life counterpart, decided to start hacking away at a dead tree to the north of the fire. She swung and grunted over a hundred times, screeching and pounding with each mighty blow. After a while, Horse Cock tried his magic on her tree, but he ended up making as many splinters in as many swings as his wee partner. After a rest, Cock Star went at it again. With her own mighty swing, she produced a pile of sun-baked white polymer that once resembled four lawn chairs. One could not have felled a tree with such precision and destruction if he or she tried. Seriously, lumberjacks would have been amazed at her accuracy. Yes, out of all the places Star could have dropped the tree, she dropped it at such an angle that all four lawn chairs were destroyed. It was quite hilarious and scary at the same time. It was scary enough to make Can't Touch This start for the car.

It was around 3AM, Can't Touch This was going towards a car, Fecal Fucker was following the fuzzy out-of-towner, Grizzly was leaving in a sober manner, and No Blow and Momma and the Rugby Couple were left to try and kill the keg. Cock Star goaded the others as they left, "You know you wanna be KEG KILLERS!" Within the hour, I Wanna Be a Cock Star was pretty much asleep, Bloody Horse Cock was dutifully attempting to earn their self-appoint "KK" moniker while feeding the fire, No Blow was wandering in-and-out of consciousness, and Momma was on her way in to check on the kids. No Blow finally stumbled towards the house at 4:15. He offered up floor or couch space to the gargantuan man and his sidekick, but Goliath thought the fire and stars would sooth his needs more appropriately.

A few hours later, around 6:30 or so, No Blow's father woke up and saw the tree-sized man and the lady in the back yard, but after going out to get coffee and returning an hour later, both fire-watchers were gone. By the way, the keg may have been killed, but we don't recall. For argument sake, we will say it was ;-) .

Momma and No Blow spent most of the next day sweeping, scrubbing, vacuuming and shampooing. Exercise is a good thing.

Merry Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays, and On-On to next year!

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-May-02 08:44:27 PM CDT