DBH3 Hash #786 - Rattle Snake Island
AKA "The Gilligan Is Losing His Mind Hash"
2004-Aug-28
Hare: Gilligan, Semen Hole
Hare Aids (trail recon): Nunya, Nunya's Mom, Nunya's Dad
Boat Drivers: Just Farly, Just Steve
Hounds: Bone My Ass, Bung Holy "O", Burning Bush, CockPit,
Crotchduster, Dick Rejector, Dill Dough, Divide My Pi, F*cken Goofy,
I'm So F*cked, Just Brenda, Little Cock, No BLow, Paid to Lay,
Richard Pierce, Sh*t Dickler, Sunkn' Sh*t, Virgin Sue, Waayyy Beyond
Gay
Visitors: Buffy the Campfire Slayer (O2H3), Cheapmeat
(O2H3), Chippendale (OH3), Crotch Stitch (O2H3), Derby (Orlando
Bike-O-Psycho), Diddy (O2H3), Floppy Dick (O2H3), Shower Head (OH3),
Sperm Burp (OH3), Urine Trouble (Orlando Bike-O-Psycho)
Late Cumers: Speedy, Thor, Trigger
Needless to say, since this hash was a month ago, I've forgotten
some (okay, most!) of what happened, but here's some highlights...
Gilligan got the pack warmed up with a CB36...Bastard! We weren't
smart enough to figure out that we should have probably stayed near
the water...
Gilligan gave me (Cockpit) the official title of "Boat Bitch,"
complete with clipboard and everything! Since I don't swim and my ass
was staying in Semen Hole's boat, he figured he'd put me to work as
hasher-checker-inner to make sure nobody was left behind on an
island. A bikini-clad Dick Rejector hitched a ride in Just Farley's
boat.
We (the boat people) saw hounds swimming across to the
2nd island as we passed by. Actually, we saw 1 or 2 hounds
crossing and 15 watching! Sperm Burp wouldn't cross and her husband
left her ass there so Just Steve had to go rescue her in his boat.
Gilligan got lost on the 2nd island and was snared by Crotchduster
and Waaayy!!! How sad is that?!? Mother Nature decided to visit us at
the beer check and brought a thunderstorm with her...Bitch! Hounds
took shelter under trees, in the water, on the boat...you know, all
the places you're not supposed to take shelter in a storm. The entire
Daytona hash and a third of Orlando could have been taken out with one
good strike!
After the storm passed, several people decided to swim to the 3rd
island...Dumbasses! Who comes to a hash to exercise?!? Apparently
quite a few...who knew? Urine Trouble swam to the 3rd island, stopped
to geocache, ran trail and was still FRB and beat the hare to the
end...Overachiever!
Thor and Trigger (looking like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model)
and Speedy showed up out of nowhere at the last island. Yes, I said
SPEEDY!!! She's alive!
Semen Hole cooked up some wieners for us. Gilligan brought apricot
jelly instead of relish! I thought only old people ate apricot
jelly...oh wait, he is old. I hope he didn't go home and make a peanut
butter and relish sandwich.
Then we decided to circle up before the island disappeared.
Down-downs I remember:
- Virgins Sue & Speedy...we decided Speedy was a born-again
virgin because it's been so long since she's hashed.
- 20th wedding anniversary down-down: Divide My Pi & Paid To
Lay...she must have been a child bride!
- Dumbass down-down: Gilligan for saying, "The hurricane
changed the layout of the land," when asked why he got lost!
- Dumbass down-down: Gilligan for bringing apricot jelly
instead of relish.
- 50% rule: Goofy
- August Birthdays: only one...Cockpit
We named Just Brenda, "Clean Pussy," but I'm not remembering
why. Something about a cleaning service (she works for or owns) and a
cat...
Notable quotes:
- Paid To Lay's friend (who stopped by to say hello) to No Blow
when he found out he was our Religious Advisor: "I'm a firm
believer that the power of prayer can move mountains." (Yeah, well
it can't stop f*cking hurricanes, can it?!?!?-CP)
- Goofy: "I drank so much beer today, I thought I saw
Speedy!"
- Just Steve: "You people think this shit is fun?" (at the beer
check on 2nd island)
- Goofy: "The Orlando hashers were ranging in Orlando and ended
up over here."
Semen Hole decided that he hadn't had enough fun and wanted to go
for a ride out into the ocean before going back to the bar. No Blow,
Speedy, Dick Rejector, Bung-Holy-O, Crotchduster & I went with him. We
all jumped out for a quick swim (and to pee!) and the f*cking boat
wouldn't start when we got back in. Uh-oh...we hoped sharks weren't
attracted to the smell of urine! Luckily, Semen Hole got the thing
started before dark and we all lived to hash another day.
Until next time-
Cockpit
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Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST
