DBH3 Hash #763 2004-Apr-14 Hares: Semen Hole & Popa Tard

Hounds: Bone My Ass, Burning Bush, Cockpit, F*ckin' Goofy, Gilligan, I Wear Short Shorts (and dogs, Crotch Sniffer & Little Miss Suckup), I'm So F*cked, Just Pam, Momma, No Blow, Nunya F*ckin' Business, Richard Pierce, Rolling Hooters (and dog Tyson), Sunk'n Shit

Auto hasher extraordinaire: Waayyy Beyond Gay

Visitor: Nookie Knacks (from one of the Orlando hashes-not sure which one) (Biko-Psycho ed.)

I must admit that I for one was a little nervous when I saw that the start location was surrounded by water and mangroves. To quote my favorite character from South Park, "Screw you guys, I'm going home." Ain't no way my ass is hashing through that! Boney showed up prepared for the worst in a Bob The Builder hard hat. Rolling Hooters brought her dog, Tyson. Crotch Sniffer and Little Miss Suckup were not too fond of him and vice versa. Crotch Sniffer was pissed because Tyson tried to hump his bitch so Tyson bit his ear off. Rolling Hooters asked Crotch Sniffer if he was okay, to which he replied, "what?" (Yeah, I know... that was bad.)

During chalk talk, Semen Hole told us to look for special marks made with pink spray paint stuff, and he also warned us to be on the lookout for the seldom seen technicolor vomit mark. Our poor little hare had a big honkin' hangover.

Trail went east on SR44 and thankfully not anywhere near water, then cut behind Eckerds or Walgreens or what-the-f*ck-ever, then behind Publix. Short Shorts tripped over a 2-foot concrete barrier and tumbled...and tumbled...and tumbled as he was dragged by his dogs. I was told it was quite impressive. Went into the shiggy behind Publix for a short distance...wonder what the crime scene tape was for...hopefully the perpetrator wouldn't come back to the scene of the crime and see us there. Passed by some lovely beanbag chairs. We've been finding lots of furniture on trail lately. Came out of the shiggy, across A1A to the beach, down the beach, up to a little street parallel to A1A, back to the beach, back to A1A...are we there yet? The beer check was just across A1A at tard teacher Bill's house. Thanks Bill!

Trail led the pack back out to A1A, hung a right, then another right at 7-11. Apparently there was a countback somewhere near here, but I didn't see it. Crossed Saxon and went into some pretty thick shiggy, though there weren't nearly as many flesh piercing palmettos as last week, and ended up in a clearing surrounded by several tall palm trees.

Circle: DFLs were Richard Pierce and No Blow. Dumbasses got lost somewhere and Richard had to use his cellphone as a flashlight. FRB-don't remember-probably Sunk'n Shit.
April Birthdays-Crotch Sniffer and Little Miss Suckup-they drank their down-downs out of a cooler lid.
25th hash whistle-Rolling Hooters
Farting on trail-Gilligan farted on Bone My Ass. If this is going to become a tradition, Crotchduster will be drinking for it every week!
Lost Property-My cheap ass lanyard broke and I lost my whistle. Goofy found it in the dirt and made me drink for it.
Overachiever-Momma took the National Board something or other...it's a teacher thing.
Naming-Just Pam...she works at a bank, she admitted to using a vegetable as a dildo- although she never did admit which vegetable it was-we just assumed it was a cucumber, she falls down on trail a lot. Cums On Cue, Goes Down Easy, & Pickle Fucker were a few suggestions, but...Just Pam shall now be known as...Dill Dough (dill-as in pickle-as in cucumber; dough-as in money-as in bank) Thank Goofy for that one!

On-aftered at PJ's where there were lots of young beautiful people and one ugly one with dreadlocks. The waitress brought us several pitchers of water. "I can't taste my beer!" "Why is there ice in my beer?" Not to worry-the beer followed shortly, along with some really kick-ass pizza! Semen Hole's roommate's sister's boyfriend's cousin's friend was singing in the bar. His name was Chad...at least that's what the shirts and hats he was hawking said. He heard about us and the Wal-Mart incident and wrote a song about us...how cool is that?!? (See song lyrics below.) Awesome place! We will definitely be back!

-CockPit

Play the entire song! (3MB)

Came to town, parked our cars.
Got beers for 50; just so far.
Now we got to run down the trail.
Thirsty again; time for a long trail.

We're drinkers with a running problem.
Don't even think of trying to solve 'em.
Got to burn, got to burn them carbs.
That's why we run all the way to Mars.

Lady named Sue came out of Wal-Mart.
Saw a pile of Anthrax, called Rampart.
What she didn't know, was just a little corn starch,
But the Hazmat Team & The Bomb Squad were a little parched-
So we got 'em beers and all ran to the next bar.

We're drinkers with a running problem.
Don't even think of trying to solve 'em.
Got to burn, got to burn them carbs.
That's why we run all the way to Mars.

Joined the Hash House Harriers,
Smoked a little cheebah too.
Now we're one big family.
Hope you like to drink and run too.

We're drinkers with a running problem.
Don't even think of trying to solve 'em.
Got to burn, got to burn them carbs.
That's why we run all the way to Mars.

This song was inspired by: Hash #753 "White Powder"

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST