DBH3 Hash #704

This week, we met in the Publix parking lot at the corner of Beville and Clyde Morris. MIA hashers, Poop Dick and Areola Boobealis stopped by to say a pre-hash hello. She says she hasn't been hashing because she's been working too hard. He corrected her and said he's actually the one working hard, but she's making all the money. And there would be a problem with that?!? Methinks not.

After almost getting run over a few times by Publix customers, we were on out behind the shopping center, through a church parking lot, then into the woods. There were people inside the church who saw us run into the woods so we figured they would probably call the cops. Great, something to look forward to. Lots of shiggy, with kudzu-looking stuff everywhere. The kind where you can't see what's underneath it so you just trudge along blindly hoping that you don't fall into a hole or a nest of wild boars or rattlesnakes. Fun stuff. Lots of cactus too. Skinamax started ranging right away. For future reference, Skinamax ranging = good; Richard Pierce ranging = bad.

Came to an UNMARKED (yes, I said UNMARKED!) beer check. Skinamax just happened to see a cooler sitting there and looked inside. Luckily, it was beer and not human remains or something. There were several beers left so some of the r*nning bastards probably didn't even see it. Losers! After the beer check, the hares tried to get us wet with a big-ass canal crossing. Once again, Skinny took a different route to avoid the canal. The rest of us found a way to cross without getting wet because we're smart like that. There was a full moon, but we couldn't see much under the canopy of trees. Good thing the hares had left toilet paper every 6 INCHES! No way to get lost on this trail! It was quite lovely actually; looked like streamers at a Birthday party. We emerged from the shiggy to find No Blow and Papa Tard waiting for us. "Do you want to follow true trail or take a shortcut?" Ummmm.did they forget who they were talking to?!? We'll have one shortcut, please. Skinny met up with us there. How does he do that?? He's like a freakin' homing pigeon!

Circled up in the woods across the street from the same church we ran past earlier. Okay, the cops are sure to show up now. We moved back as far from the road as we could so the churchgoers couldn't see us, and No Blow told us to be quiet. Yeah, right. Good luck with that. Telling a hasher to be quiet is like telling a politician to be honest. It ain't gonna happen! Uh-oh, headlights--cops? No, thank G it was only the churchgoers leaving. Carry on. Poor little Icebox kept getting stepped on and kicked so Neutered put a glow stick on his collar so we could see him. Ate My Pooper informed us that Eight's Enough ran off and got married last weekend. And she's already at the hash by herself-hmmmm. We sang her the most appropriate song we know; "Here's to Stupid Hasher."

Two namings were in order: Just Howard and Just Wendy. Just Howard was christened "Jiffy Lube" because he's a r*nner and someone asked him if he puts lube on his balls when he r*ns. Had some interesting choices for Just Wendy. She's a pilot so that was the theme.Flying Pussy, Amelia Airhead, Avi-ate-her, Stick it in My Piper and a few other good ones. The winner by a nose was "Amelia Airfart." So that was that. Later, someone came up with Amelia Beerfart, but the circle was already closed so it was a no go. Call her whatever you want, she'll answer to either one. She LOVES them both!

So there you have it.

On-On,

-Cockpit

Last modified: Saturday, 2009-Mar-07 05:30:58 PM EST